031
N-n-nineteen not out [The Commentators]
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen
They fought the most disastrous series in test history
They fought the most disastrous series in test history
In 1984 the test series against the West Indies seemed like just another runner. But it wasn't, it was different in many ways. And so were those who did the batting. In 1933 the England captain's average was 35. In 1984 it was n-nineteen.
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen
(Nineteen)
Nineteen
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen
N-n-n-n-nineteen. Good vintage
(Nineteen)
Lords, Heddingly, Alborough, Cucumber sandwich
And the heaviest defeat of the series ended at Old Trafford today, with England beaten by an innings of 64 runs.
Wasn't really sure what was going on
Wasn't really sure what was going on
In 1933 the Australian batsman typically served a crease for 12 overs, but was exposed to hostile bowling every minute. It was a bodyline series.
And now he's taking a long run up, he's gone straight into the ?????, he's caught rather a nasty one on the back of the neck, he's gonna need quite a lot of stitches in that, I'd say about nineteen.
All those who've forgotten the score
They still remember the team
Destruction, ????? bodyline
The captains name was Jardine
It wasn't even landed at the stumps
It wasn't even landed at the stumps
What a marvellous day it's been out there today. England resumed this morning with an overnight total of 7. Gow was good to go for 3, and Gatting 5. Botham 4. Down to Nat without scoring. Bringing the total up to a miserly nineteen.
N-n-nineteen. Nineteen. N-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen.
(Nineteen)
Nineteen
Well there's a bus just going down the road, turning left at junction 9. I think, ah yes, it's a number nineteen.
(Nineteen)
I just said that. Who let that woman in here?
In the fifth test, England scored 202 in their second innings. Which is an average of just under nineteen. The West Indies scored n-n-n-n-three hundred and forty six.
Yeah, and the name of the man who enabled them to cope with a new attack was Chris Broad, who adopted a new stance
S-s-s-s-side on. Side on
None of them received a standing ovation. None of them. None of them
None of them received a standing ovation. None of them. None of them
N-n-n-n...
I think you've made the point actually.
Well, there was one....
Shut up Bill
And sitting with me in the commentary box is Jim Laker, who holds the record for the most wickets taken in a test match. How many was it, Jim?
Nineteen
Silly question, really
It's a long, slow, lazy delivery. But it's the best I can do
Mike Gatting's just hit a four
It's the best drop we've seen
Reduction of the enemy field
Now it's down to nineteen
Bowled
L.B.W
Caught
Run out
Hit wicket
Stumped
Retired ???
Howzat?
Not out
032
Marguerita time [Status Quo]
Captured my heart
Captured my memory
Captured a time for me
I could see
A time for me
Is gonna be
Deep in my heart
Deep in my memory
Deep in a part of me
Heart of me
Meant to be history
Could it be that I'm still wondering
I never knew what had happened to me
I didn't think it was true
That I could be just like anyone else
I'll take my chance with you
Picture a dream
Picture a fantasy
Picture a mood of me
Mystery
You and me
A mystery
Lost in a dream
Lost in a fantasy
Lost in what seemed to be
Dreams to be
Seemed to be
Had to be
Couldn't find no other reason
I never knew what had happened to me
I didn't think it was true
That I could be just like anyone else
I'll take my chance with you
Lets have a drink
It's Marguerita time
It's Marguerita time
After nine
Summer time
Any time
You'll still always find me wondering
I never knew what had happened to me
I didn't think it was true
That I could be just like anyone else
I'll take my chance with you
033
Don Quixote [Nik Kershaw]
Your mind can play tricks
Makes you what you want to be
Just like superheroes
You saw them on TV
Coast to coast, wall to wall
Got to go, duty calls
Here I am
Superman, Lois Lane
Saved the world, back again
Here I am
In my old, red saloon
I'm a knight in shining armour
If i were asleep, man
I couldn't be much calmer
Hit the road, on the run
Faster than anyone
Here I am
One for all, all for one
Shake the fist, shoot the gun
Here i am
Don Quixote, what do you say?
Are we proud? Are we brave? Or just crazy?
Don Quixote, what do you say?
Are we shouting at windmills like you?
Common sense, is as good
As a cafe on the moon
When man and machinery
Come to their high noon
Beat the clock, punch the wall
Fixed in no time at all
Here I am
Radio on the blink
Kick the cat, hit the drink
Here I am
Don Quixote, what do you say?
Are we proud? Are we brave? Or just crazy?
Don Quixote, what do you say?
Are we shouting at windmills like you?
Here I am
Don Quixote, we're all men of la mancha
034
Take on me [A-Ha]
Talking away
I don't know what I'm to say
I'll say it any way
Today is another day to find you
Shying away
Oh, I'll be coming for your love, ok?
Take on me (Take on me)
Take me on (Take on me)
I'll be gone
In a day or two
So needless to say
I'm odds and ends but I'm me!
Stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is okay
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry
Take on me (Take on me)
Take me on (Take on me)
I'll be gone
In a day or two
Oh the things that you say
Is it life or just a play
My worries away
You're all the things I forgot to remember
You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway
Take on me (Take on me)
Take me on (Take on me)
I'll be gone
In a day
035
The sun always shines on TV [A-Ha]
Touch me
How can it be
Believe me
The sun always shines on TV.
Hold me close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me
To me
I reached inside myself but found
Nothing there to ease the pressure
Off my ever worrying mind
All my powers waste away
I fear the crazy lonely looks
The mirror's sending me these days
Touch me
How can it be
Believe me
The sun always shines on TV.
Hold me close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me
Please don't ask me to defend
The shameful lowlands of the way
I'm drifting gloomily through time
I reached inside myself today
Thinking there's got to be some way
To keep my troubles distant
Touch me
How can it be
Believe me
The sun always shines on TV.
Hold me close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me
Hold me
Close to your heart
Touch me
And give all your love to me
To me
036
Rock me Amadeus [Falco]
Ooh, Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus, R-r-rock me Amadeus
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus
Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus Ama-
Heh heh
Er war ein Punker
Und er lebte in der großen Stadt
Es war in Wien, war Vienna
Wo er alles tat
Er hatte Schulden denn er trank
Doch ihn liebten alle Frauen
Und jede rief:
Come and rock me Amadeus
Er war Superstar
Er war populär
Er war so exaltiert
Because er hatte Flair
Er war ein Virtuose
War ein Rockidol
Und alles rief:
Come and rock me Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus
Oh, oh, oh, Amadeus
Come on rock me Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus
Oh, oh, oh, Amadeus
Es war um 1780
Und es war in Wien
No plastic money anymore
Die Banken gegen ihn
Woher die Schulden kamen
War wohl jedermann bekannt
Er war ein Mann der Frauen
Frauen liebten seinen Punk
Er war Superstar
Er war populär
Er war so exaltiert
Because er hatte Flair
Er war ein Virtuose
War ein Rockidol
Und alles rief:
Come and rock me Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus
Oh, oh, oh, Amadeus
Come on rock me Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus
Oh, oh, oh, Amadeus
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Yie-yie-yeaaahh
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Baby, baby do, do you rock me
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus
Amadeus, Amadeus
Oh, oh, oh, Amadeus....
037
Livin' doll [Cliff & The Young Ones]
[EXPLOSION, GLASS BREAKING]
Neil: Look everyone, he's coming through the doors
Vyvyan: Brilliant, he didn't even open them
Neil: He's here
Mike: Quick Rik, do the speech
Rik: Hey kids, stop snogging, and pay attention to me. Cause if you're a wild eyed loner, standing at the gates of oblivion, then hitch a ride with us. Cause we're on the last freedom moped out of nowhere city. And we haven't even told our parents what time we'll be back! So put on your dancing trousers and get down to the total and utter king of rock 'n roll: Cliff Richard
Cliff: Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Cliff: Got to do my best to please her, just cos she's a livin' doll
Cliff: Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
Cliff: I got the one and only walkin', talkin' livin' doll
Cliff: Ok guys? Ready Vyv?
Vyvyan: Completely ready when you are, Shaky
Cliff: Neil?
Neil: Does anybody know where the toilets are?
Cliff: Mike?
Mike: Does all this money really have to go to charity?
Rik: Yes it does Michael. Hi Cliff, it's me
Cliff: Who are you?
Rik: Huh-hur! Great joke Your Majesty
Cliff: Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Young ones: Living doll
Cliff: Got to do my best to please her, just cos she's a livin' doll
Young ones: Living doll
Cliff: I got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
Young ones: Fies my soul
Cliff: I got the one and only walkin', talkin' livin' doll
Vyvyan: Fies my soul!?
Rik: Yes Vyvyan, it's raunchy
Mike: Shutup guys
Vyvyan: What does this button do?
[EXPLOSION]
Cliff: Take a look at her hair [BURP] well, it's real
Cliff: And if you don't believe what I say, just feel
Mike: Do I know this girl?
Cliff: Gonna lock her up in a trunk...
Young Ones: Trunk
Cliff: ...so no big hunk...
Neil: Hunk
Cliff: ...can steal her away from me
Vyvyan: Get down!
Neil: OK
Cliff: Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', livin' doll
Vyvyan: Hey Cliff, I've just invented a great new sound
Cliff: Gonna do my best to please her, just cos she's a livin' doll
[CRUNCHING]
Neil: Ow!
Mike: Untie Neil's legs, Vyvyan
Cliff: Settle down chaps. Cuh!
Cliff: Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
All: I got the one and only walkin', talkin' doll
Rik: OK, daddy-o, lay the next funky riff on me
Mike: He means: What happens now Cliff?
Cliff: The instrumental break
Vyvyan: Great, Cliff, which instruments do you want us to break?
Vyvyan: Piano [CRASH]
Vyvyan: Violin [SCREECH, SMASH]
Vyvyan: Didgeridoo [GLASS BREAKING]
Rik: Vyvyan's trousers [ZIPPER]
Vyvyan: Rik's head [SMACK]
Neil: Yeah, ur.. um... Neil's head [SMACK]
Vyvyan: And...Cliff's head!
Rest: No, no!
Rik: Well take a look at her hair. It's real
Neil: If you don't believe what I say
Mike: Just feel
Rik: Phhwooaarrhh!
Vyvyan: Gonna lock her up in a trunk
Mike: So no big hunk
Cliff: Can steal her away from me
Rik: Well I still feel that locking girls in trunks in politically unsound
Mike: It's only a song Rik
Neil: Well I feel sorry for the elephant
Cliff: Come on guys
All: Got myself a
Neil: Cryin'
Vyvyan: Talkin'
Mike: Sleepin'
Rik: Walkin'
Young Ones: Livin' Doll
Cliff: Livin' Doll
Cliff: Got to do my best to please her, just cos she's a
All: Livin' doll
Cliff: Alright guys, harmonies now
Young Ones, in the worst singing ever: Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
Cliff: Fies my soul
All: I got the one and only walkin', talkin' livin' doll
Rik: Oooo-ooooo-ooooohhhhh
All: I got the one and only walkin', talkin'
Cliff: Livin' doll
Cliff: Can I go now?
Rik: Er, yes, thanks Cliff, bye
[DOOR SLAM]
Rik: Right kids, if you don't buy this record then you're an utter, utter, utter, utter, utter [SCRATCH]
038
Chain reaction [Diana Ross]
You took a mystery and made me want it
You got a pedestal and put me on it
You made me love you out of feeling nothing
Something that you do
And I was there and not dancing with anyone
You took a little, then you took me over
You set your mark on stealing my heart away
Crying, trying, anything for you
I'm in the middle of a chain reaction
You give me all the after midnight action
I wanna get you where I can let you make all that love to me
I'm on a journey for the inspiration
To anywhere and there ain't no salvation
I need you to get me nearer to you
So you can set me free
We talk about love, love, love
We talk about love
We talk about love, love, love
We talk about love
You make me tremble when your hand moves lower
You taste a little then you swallow slower
Nature has a way of yielding treasure
Pleasure made for you, oh
You gotta plan, your future is on the run
Shine a light for the whole world over
You never find your love if you hide away
Crying, dying, all you gotta do is
Get in the middle of a chain reaction
You get a medal when you're lost in action
I wanna get your love all ready for the sweet sensation
Instant radiation
You let me hold you for the first explosion
We get a picture of our love in motion
My arms will cover, my lips will smother you
With no more left to say
We talk about love, love, love
We talk about love
You let me hold you for the first explosion
My arms will cover you
All you gotta do is get in the middle of a chain reaction
You get a medal when you're lost in action
Don't pass me by
I wanna get your love all ready for the chain reaction...
039
The chicken song [Spitting Image]
It's the time of year
Now that spring is in the air
When those two wet gits
With their girly curly hair
Make another song
Form a ??ronif?? holidays
That nauseate-ate-ates
In a million different ways
From the shores of Spain
To the coast of southern France
No matter where you hide
You just can't escape this dance
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green
Then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet
And pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapaho
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault 4
Wear salami in your ears
Casserole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears
The disco is vibrating
The sound is loud and grating
It's truly nauseating
Let's do the dance again
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deck-chair up your nose
Yes, you'll hear this song
In the holiday discos
And there's no escape
In the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song
If you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapaho
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Now you've heard it once
Your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song
You'll be humming it for weeks
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
La la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la La la la la la la laaaa
Eh, we had a laugh
040
Train of thought [A-Ha]
He likes to have the morning paper crossword solved
Words go up, words come down, forwards, backwards, twisted round
He grabs a pile of letters from a small suitcase
Disappears into an office, it's another working day
And his thoughts are full of strangers
Corridors of naked light
And his mind, once full of reason
Now there's more than meets the eye
Now a stranger's face he carries with him
He likes a bit of reading on the subway home
A distant radio whistling tunes that nobody knows
At home a house awaits him. He unlocks the door
Thinking once there was a sea here, but there never was a door
And his thoughts are full of strangers
And his eyes too numb to see
And nothing that he knows of
And nowhere where he's been
Was ever quite like this
And his thoughts are full of strangers
Corridors of naked light
And his mind, once full of reason
Now there's more than meets the eye
Now a stranger's face he carries with him
And the heart is full of strangers
Dodging on his train of thought
Train of thought
Dodging on his train of thought