We then decided to cook tea. Consisting of 2 cans of soup (that's all there was in there) we discovered that there was no can opener and we had to hack away at the lid.

The soup tasted quite good, but it took about half an hour to eat it because either of us would say something completely unfunny and we would burst out laughing. Consequently we started laughing at the fact that we were laughing for no reason.

We stopped laughing when we sat down to watch the A-Team, which was even more unfunny than all the unfunny things we'd already been saying.

We then went to get a newspaper, but didn't get very far as 1) The shop was shut, and 2) They didn't sell newspapers!

After that we decided to go to Blackpool to check it out. Easier said than done, especially with me navigating our way down a maze of one way streets. we popped into a few arcades places. Amongst them was a game called "Mad Dog Macree" which was really cleverly done. It was a video of western people who stood there and if you shot them they'd fall down but otherwise they shot you. The latter is what happened most.

We then trekked back and got some lagers, came home, drank them and watched the weather and decided to go to Stone's caves tomorrow.

At 11:30 we went to bed, knackered.

PS I forgot to mention the cheese filled jacket potatoes we had on the way which were delicious.

14th July 1991

Got up half hour after I should of and set off for Stone's caves. A few miles later we came back to get the cameras (I'm really getting pissed off with this toll bridge!).

We eventually arrived after getting totally lost in Manchester. This was because we came across junction 15 of the M63 and Stone's atlas only went up to 13!

Once there we went into 'the local tavern' to have dinner. Ordered chicken and mushroom pie with chips, and got chicken and mushroom pie with chips, peas and carrots. The pie was delicious but I'm still not sure where the peas and carrots came from. The horseradish sauce was nice but then that's completely irrelevant!

After dinner we set off down the road to climb up a hill to get to a cave. We came across a good place to start. Half way up this 60° slope we realised that this wasn't a good place to start, so we had to climb up a 90° slope (slight exaggeration) to the top, go all the way over the top of the cave we wanted to go to, back down the other side and across through some stinging nettles!

Once in the cave you couldn't really do a lot else but clamber in and fill the gap (that's how big it was). There were some other tunnels leading off but they were too dark to see down and Stone had forgotten his torch.

We came out, back through the stinging nettles and slid on our bums backsides down the hill.

We then climbed up the other side to what looked like a cave, but wasn't! Stone could have sworn that there was one up there but he had a gander and couldn't find anything so we came back down again.

We went into this huge (well, compared to the others) cave and had a look round cause this was only a few feet off the ground and easy to get to. This looked like it went quite a way in, but again we couldn't see anything without a torch, which was lying in the car being completely useless.

We then got an ice-cream and queued up for a ¾ of an hour to get into this guided tour of some underground caves (or mines). Our tour guide was this completely unfunny bloke (not 'block' this time) whose best line was 'They came across a bacon tree - or a Hambush' (yeah! that was his best one). Plus he couldn't even remember this programme called 'Watch' on TV.

After looking at the bottomless pit and the various other bits we decided to go home cause we were both knackered.

Stopping on the way to get some provisions, we got home and had tea. Tea consisted of something that closely resembled baked beans and sausages (only closely resembled). Then we played rummy for 1p a hand. I won.

After that we watched The Three Amigos. We were thinking of going to Blackpool tomorrow, but after seeing the weather report we don't know now! We'll see how it turns out.

15th July 1991

Weather was crap, so we decided to go to Blackpool anyway! We were thinking of going to that IMAX thing in Bradford, but as neither of us knew exactly where it was (and neither did mum when I phoned her) we gave that up as a bad idea.

The journey was quite good, which surprised me as half way there I realised I hadn't taken any travel-sickness pills. Once there we parked and headed out towards the pleasure-beach. God it was windy!

After about 10 minutes of trying to figure out how to get in we came to the "Noah's Ark". Next to the Noah's Ark there was the information desk, which was handy cause that's where we had to get our free tickets from (that is 'Buy one get one free').

I can't remember exactly what we did first, but we had a go on a horse race with balls! We went on one of those simulation things where the show was a motorbike test drive which sent you racing through alley ways and warehouses in true 'Police Squad' style.

Then there were the roller-coasters. The first one was just a big dipper which had, well, big dips really! The second was called the 'Avalanche' which had no tracks, it was just a really bendy slide thing which relied on centrifugal force to keep you plastered at 90° round the bends.

The third one was the worst one (or the best depending on how you look at it). We were both doubtful about going on it, but we did. Basically it was a loop, but that was bad enough. You speed off, down this really tight loop and up a really steep slope, then stopped. Then all of a sudden the cars sped backwards and we did the whole thing again, only we couldn't see where we were going, apart from when the sky was suddenly beneath us.

We then had a hot-dog, which we regretted later. And a laughing clown was really getting on my nerves!

The 'Tidal wave' was next, which was basically a boat that swung to a 90° angle and down, only to swing to a 90° angle, the hot-dogs gradually rising up.

Then a couple more roller-coasters. The first being pretty tame and the second one was a bit better, going down a couple of steep falls and bringing the hot-dogs closer to our mouths.

We then spotted the 'Black Hole', which was closed earlier but now appeared to be open. We wandered in, expecting a massive roller-coaster, but it wasn't. It was one of those things you sat in and it spun you round. And it didn't half shift. With music blaring out all around us, and us spinning round at 200mph, Stone's hot-dog decided it didn't like the inside of Stone's stomach and was gradually heading for the exit.

After this Stone felt pretty ill, and I must admit I wasn't feeling top of the form, what with the Black Hole and the other thing I forgot to mention. The other thing being a giant circular seating thing (see photo for better description) which span round very fast, plastered you against the sides and broke your back in various places.

We then had had enough. We looked round for some 'C' and 'D' rides to use up our remaining tickets. We came across a 'D' one which was a room of mirrors (see photos), but that wasn't all, first you had to get to the room of mirrors by navigating your way through corridors of mirrors (yeah, I smashed into one!)

Oh yeah, and there was the 'Haunted Swing', which we hadn't got a clue what it was. We went into this really cramped room with just this swing in it. We climbed onto this swing and waited, nothing seemed to be happening. The all of a sudden we swung upside down, and back down again, and up again, until we realised that it wasn't us that was spinning, the entire room was around us, it was weird!

We left, we were knackered (I'll use the word again). We got some postcards and I got some rock and we went home. We stopped at the local video shop and hired out National Lampoons Xmas Vacation and Weekend At Bernie's.

Tea consisted of chicken stew and Angel Delight, both bought this morning after my phone call to mum, and both were delicious.

Both films were pretty good. We'll probably go to IMAX tomorrow as we now know it's in Princes View, where that is I don't know!

PS there was another roller-coaster called 'Space Invaders', but apart from the fact that it was in complete darkness, it was pretty tame.

16th July 1991

Got up about 9:30 and had brekkie. At about 10 o'clock we set off for Bradford and the National Museum of Photography Film and Television.

Stopping on the way to post the postcards, we got there in about 2 hours. Stopping on the way to have a really disgusting cheeseburger and to look at a map to find out where exactly this Princes View was.

"Keep your eyes peeled" Stone said. But it wasn't hard to miss. It was a massive 5 storey building with "Nation Museum of Photography Film and Television" written on it. We went in.

We walked over to the booking place for the IMAX cinema. It was about 13:00 so we booked the 3 o'clock showing of 'The Blue Planet'. We then wandered over to the plans of all 6 floors. It was colour coded, the blue areas being the IMAX cinema. There was a blue area on the lower ground level, the ground level, and in fact every single floor of the building had part of the IMAX cinema in it!

We started to look round, round the lower level. (This seemed like a good place to start.) We were immediately greeted with a digitized picture of ourselves updating itself every 2 seconds. We were surprised that this place was free to get in to!

We spent about an hour and a half looking at the various things on this level alone. What with Infra-Red, Ultra-Violet, Holograms, Digital Imagery.. (God, am I technical or what?) The best thing, I thought, was a video showing a couple picnicking. The film then zoomed out to 10 times the view, then 10 times more, gradually coming out at powers of ten, out of the solar system and the nearest neighbouring galaxies. It then zoomed back in pretty fast to the earth and closer still to the picnicking couple. Then it carried on going into the man's hand until it eventually stopped inside the electrons of an atom making up his DNA structure. It was great. I think the final picture was 0.0000001 Angstroms wide (whatever an Angstrom is!)

We then headed for the 3:00 showing of 'The Blue Planet', and God, what a queue!

We went in and all I can say is the screen was big. Not just 'big' but BIG! I think we worked out that it was 6 times screen 1 at the Cannon.

At first they shew old clips from Apollo flights which only filled about a quarter of the screen. But then a giant picture of the Earth came into view, and you had to turn your head right round to see all of it, you couldn't see it all at once.

The whole film was very good, with a very strong environmental theme to it (Holes in the ozone layer etc), but the big screen made it 10 times better.

As we came out we found ourselves on level 5, so we made our way backwards though the ones we hadn't seen.

We saw how they done the water ting in the 'Abyss'. We saw how they got Bet Midler to to grab hold of Bet Midler. We floated on a magic carpet (a carpet on a blue background.) I had a fight with King Kong (on a blue background.) I read the news for Newsround. I cut between cameras on a console, while Stone did the fades and wipes. All the blue background stuff was all very good, but as I had my blue shirt on I was invisible half the time.

Once we had seen everything we went out. We got a takeaway pizza from this Italian place. I ate half of it before feeling ill.

On the way home we hired out Arachnophobia which was pretty frightening for those who already have it, like me and Stone. I was surprised it was only a PG.

We went to bed after checking every nook and cranny for spiders. Stone found one, and it is now plastered half on the wall and half on the bottom of his cassette case.

17th July 1991

Stone woke me up at 7:15 and then again at 8:00 when I fell asleep again.

eventually we set off for Alton Towers. Taking the scenic route through Stoke-on-Trent, following this car with kids in waving at us from the back window. We arrived in about 2 and a half hours, parking behind the kids we'd been following sice Stoke-on-Trent.

We went in a I knew the place was big because we had to take a monorail from the car park to the entrance. We paid £10.50 at the gate, which I thought was a lot but later found it was worth it.

Stone led the way, seeing as he appeared to know where he was going. We headed to the log flume, past these fountains which sprayed water over the pathway.

The Log Flume

The ride was quite good. We only got splashed a bit and we had our photograph taken while we went down the last steep slope and splashed down at the bottom.

We then headed for the magic carpet (or 1001 nights as it was called.) The ride was a giant seating thing that swung round and came to a stop at the top, only to swing down again backwards. The whole thing was enormous and it hung about 70 feet off the ground. I don't know how Stone managed to persuade me to get on it. But he did, and I did, and it wasn't too bad.

The Black Hole

The queue for the Black Hole was even longer than the one for the Log Flume, but it was worth the wait. The whole thing was in complete darkness and we gradually made our way up on the roller coaster. Then we shot down in about 3 tight bends with G forces plastering our faces round the back of our seats and at the bottom bend a picture was taken. This was the best.

The Corkscrew

The Grand Canyon Rapids

We didn't have much time left so we looked for a ride that didn't have much of a queue (impossible.) The 'Black Hole' only had half the usual queue so we went on that again. It wasn't so bad the second time round.

We then headed home. Once home, Stone cooked his soup with egg mixed in but I couldn't eat mine (must have been the four donuts earlier)

In the evening we were bored, so we played rummy, whist, and Brucie-bonus (higher-lower etc).

We were then even more bored that we built a still life sculpture on the table called "CCRASTAAtlasFilmScissorsMapCribboardPeutoricofonduesetPPaperLeafletCamera" consisting of everything mentioned above (The "CCRASTA" being Coke - Coke - Real McCoy's - Cards - Scaleometer - Table - Air. And what a masterpiece it was.

CCRASTAAtlasFilmScissorsMapCribboardPeutoricofonduesetPPaperLeafletCamera

While I was writing this, Stone fell asleep on the couch!

18th July 1991

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19th July 1991

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20th July 1991

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